What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar?
by Winds of Water
Summary: In which Edward has no problem at all completing the task set forth. And Roy doesn't mind helping. Roy/Ed


I have no idea where this came from. Just that all of a sudden I was writing it. I haven't even had a Klondike bar for months. But anyway...

Probably not the first nor the last author/ess to fall to the temptation of that infamous question whose true copyright owners we know is not including myself? Right? Right. And the *ahem* certain bodily armor reference I modified from the genius that is 3rd Rock from the Sun. God I miss that show. But anyway...

So yes, I have joined the dorkiness. Long live the dorks like me XD. I even messed with the cliche ten second with tongue thing. -snickers at herself-

* * *

What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar?

"What is it?" Edward asked in what was almost a whisper, leaning forward across the table as his hands clutched at the edge.

Havoc smirked, he had his boss now. And he waved the food item attracting said bottomless pit of a boss's attention. First side to side, then up and down. And each time the golden eyes would dart after it as if hypnotized. "This?" He asked loftily. "This is a Klondike bar."

Edward nodded numbly, his tongue darting out to lick at his lips and catch the drool before it leaked out. "Is that ice cream?" The question was a hiss at best, so enraptured he was by the sweet.

"Between two chocolate cookies…" Havoc waved his other hand at it as if presenting a million-dollar showcase item.

Golden eyes remained fixed on the ice cream sandwich, "I want it." There was no doubt in his voice. He _wanted_ this Klondike bar thing.

Havoc grinned, and he waved the treat around, watching as Edward's eyes bounced after it greedily. "So what, pray tell, would you do for a Klondike bar?"

"Anything you want, just gimme!" It was practically an order.

"So if I asked you to streak around HQ naked except for knee high leopard print stripper boots, you'd do it?" Havoc asked, testing the waters.

"Havoc…" Came a warning female tone from the direction of Lieutenant Hawkeye's desk.

Havoc merely grinned wider.

Edward was sure he was drooling again, and his tongue made another swipe across his lips. "Yesss. Just gimme!" And he darted a hand out to make to swipe the cold dessert.

Havoc jerked it away nimbly. "Nah-ah-ah!" He waggled a finger at the Major who sat back glumly. "What I want you to do…" and he paused dramatically, "…is kiss the Colonel. For no less than ten seconds _with_ tongue."

"Which Colonel?" Edward deadpanned in utter bafflement. There were like… a gazillion Colonel's in the State Militia.

"Mustang." Havoc mimicked the deadpan tone, and fought the urge to roll his eyes. "You know… _our_ Colonel?"

Edward glanced from the ice cream sandwich, to Jean, and back to the ice cream sandwich. "Ten seconds?"

"Yep." Havoc replied brightly.

"With tongue?"

"Lots of tongue."

Edward gazed longingly at the prize, looked towards the door of Colonel Mustang's office, and stood up. "Don't let it melt." He warned fiercely, and stalked towards the door.

He didn't see Hawkeye walk over to Havoc in order to club him over the head with the butt of her gun. Nor Havoc's pitiful look as he turned weepy eyes on her already turning back. But he didn't care, he was already hurrying after his boss, not wanting to miss what happened next.

Edward threw open the door grandly and marched in without waiting for permission.

"Fullmetal?" Roy looked over in surprise, recovering his fright fairly fast. Truthfully he should be used to such entrances… but fact was, that he never could expect when the hot-headed blond would deem it time for an impromptu visit. Such visits usually heralded by quite a lot of noise. And he turned from where he'd just slid a book into place on its shelf to see what it was this time.

"Flame." Edward nodded in a business-like way as he strode over purposefully.

Roy eyed him almost warily. There was a glint of something in Edward's eyes that made him realize something was up. And this time it involved him. "What did Havoc offer you this time? A chocolate and caramel cookie pizza? And why are you looking at me? I mean, not to say I'm not glad that this time doesn't involve you running around HQ wearing nothing but Ishbalan nipple armor… but why are you looking at me?"

This whole time he'd backed up into a corner. Wedged between a bookshelf, wall, and a still-advancing Edward.

"I didn't know you were watching when I did that." Edward grinned as he sidled up to Mustang, running his hands up the man's chest slowly.

Roy blushed and shivered as Edward's hands steadily slid up his chest. "I only heard about it." He argued nervously. "Now you go tell Havoc you did whatever it was you're supposed to be doing and you can have your treat."

Edward smirked at him, his hands trailing up Mustang's neck and then burying into his hair. "That thing?" He chortled, and slid one hand from the black locks to brush a finger over Mustang's lips while he gazed up into the dark eyes. "Have you ever heard of a Klondike bar, sir?"

"No." Roy answered honestly against the finger still on his lips.

Edward removed the finger, only to grab Mustang's face in his hands and tug the man's head down. Their lips crashed together and Edward lost no time in taking advantage of Mustang's open mouthed surprise to slip his tongue in. And then he lost all sense of _anything_ as Mustang grabbed him to pull them flush against each other.

It was definitely more than ten seconds when Edward finally pulled away for air, flushed and smirking up at the man who still held him tightly. "I think that was definitely better than a Klondike bar."

Roy smirked right back at him. "You think?" He jerked his head over Edward's shoulder to where Havoc was standing in the doorway slack-jawed. "Go grab it from him and let's find out."

Edward grinned at the proposal. "Either way… I'm thinking he should have asked me what I'd do for a Klondike bar long ago." And he stepped out of Roy's embrace in order to saunter on over to Havoc. Grabbing the ice cream sandwich that was starting to grow soft out of the man's hand, he promptly shoved Havoc out of the doorway and closed the office door.

The lock clicked into place.

Roy had since settled down into his office chair, and scooted out enough to admit Edward as the blond promptly placed himself astride his lap as if he belonged there. "Now I definitely like you sitting here…" he grinned, running a hand up Edward's thigh. "You're not as liable to get distracted."

Edward held up the treat he'd earned. "You should have offered me a Klondike bar yourself, Mustang."

"Call me Roy." He insisted, and leaned forward to lick at the softening ice cream. "Mmm... that is good…"

Edward scowled at him, and promptly ate the entire thing save one bite. "If you want more, you'll have to come and get it." And he popped the last bite in his mouth but did nothing with it.

Roy flashed him a grin, and immediately leaned in to catch the ice cream sweetened lips against his own before licking his way in towards the rest of the flavors waiting for him. Yes… Edward was right, he thought as he lost himself in the kiss while simultaneously stealing the ice cream sandwich piece from Edward's mouth so he could quickly swallow it before diving back in, he really should have offered Edward a Klondike bar himself.

Or just taken a chance and asked Havoc to make kissing him a condition long before now when he'd asked the man to play this little game with the Major. Not that seeing Edward run around naked in Ishbalan nipple armor hadn't been fun… but this was infinitely better.

But that begged the question… what would Edward do next for a Klondike bar?

…he'd think about it later. And he quickly helped Edward with the task of removing all those damn coats the blond insisted on wearing. Right now, he just knew he loved Klondike bars… and Edward.


End file.
